Frustrating and Fascinating at Aldersgate

Hi all, its been a while since I've written. Starting Tuesday I will write most days for a week about Germany, but for today I am writing about something that happened today at Aldersgate Conference. (If you want to know more about it, google Aldersgate Renewal Ministries.)
Today, during an equipping session (which is like a class or workshop on a given topic), I had quite an interesting, yet frustrating conversation. The speaker mentioned early in his talk some points on conversion. He spoke about how you must make a decision that you want to follow Christ and later you are converted (based upon experiences like that of John Wesley. He made the decision to follow Jesus but he was an adult when he "felt his heart was strangely warmed"). I didn't mind that he said this, but I wanted to know how this theory works with the experience of somebody who was born/baptized/bred Christian and was blessed to always have know Jesus. The conversation went something like this (paraphrased and summarized):

me: You spoke earlier about conversion and making a decision. (summarized the point he made) How does this fit with the experience that a person was born, baptized, and raised in the church. This person has never had a conversion experience, has never sat down and made that kind of "decision." Yet, this person has always known Jesus, has always had a relationship with Jesus, and is truly a Christian? THis person's relationship with God grew as they grew.
speaker: are you sure that this person is truly a Christian? (tone of voice suggesting that this person is lying to me or fake or deluding themselves)
me: well this person is me
speaker: (proceeds to give long examples of people who have grown up in the church or been pressured into saying the words before they were ready) I am sure that since you are here you truly are a Christian, you don't need to worry about that. You just don't remember your conversion, remember, it can happen gradually.
me: No, you don't understand. I am not doubting myself, I am wondering how your theory fits into my experience.
speaker: (rambles a bit, I am no sure what he thought I was asking because he never answered me)
me: (silent and not sure what to say)
lady about my parents age: It sounds like what she is describing is exactly what we as parents pray for when we take our babies to be baptized.
me: thank you, that is what I was trying to say, but couldn't say it like that.
speaker: well, I never baptized my children, they made that decision later, so I don't know about that...(continues speaking in this vein)


Once the session ended, people started surrounding me to talk to me. It went something like this:
Very Old Lady (probably can't hear very well)- she told me a story about how she grew up in the church and what finally helped her to ask Jesus into her life, for real
me- explained that this wasn't my problem, I just wanted him to explain his pain in relation to my experience

Middle aged man- Thank you, that was a wonderful testimony. It is so wonderful for you.

Older man- he told me about his friends who are twins, a man and a woman. The male twin had a big conversion experience (at the same time as this man speaking to me). This older man, when riding in the car with the female twin asked her "So when did you first know Jesus?" He said that she said "Well, I've always known him." He explained to me that this really struck him and helped him realize how awesome this was, and she was the lucky one. He had a big conversion experience, but she had always known, and that is so rare.
As we spoke, I explained that it is hard to have this experience because so few people say it, and you are treated as strange when you can't give a conversion experience.
He said, looking at me and pointing, "But this is your testimony, and it is very powerful."
Our conversation continued, but this preceding part really was powerful for me.


Now, when I told this story, I was trying to give it in the form of a hypothetical situation or a case study, but when the speaker started discounting it, I had to explain that it was me so it had some credibility. This experience was apparently outside his realm of understanding and that of some others in the room. I don't know how to respond to it, but the responses that people gave me truly did help. Maybe it all goes back to infant baptism and prevenient grace, but I don't know. Ask me after I take a theology class :D I just wanted to share this experience and write it down so I will remember it in times to come.

Come back and read again as I write from Germany in a few days!